Archive for December, 2008

sometimes it’s not easy. other times it’s just really hard.

December 24, 2008 at 1:51 am · Filed under Christmas, Home and tagged: , ,

So I’m sitting in an altogether unfamiliar computer right now, without spellcheck I might add, writing the first of what I’m surprised isn’t the fiftieth post-London blogs. I haven’t been able to really bring myself to write about any of my reverse-homesickness blues, as few as those moments have been. But nonetheless, despite all outward appearances being pretty normal, I do feel a few pangs of longing every now and again, but it’s just not something I feel like sharing right now.

Happy Birthday Blog. Or around here somewhere. It might have been a couple of days ago or something, but I do seem to remember starting this blog around the same time last year.. I was full of wit and mirth back then. I think.

I probably wasn’t in fact. Around this time of year I get pretty depressed, as a lot of people do. Christmas usually makes people think of  good times with family and exchanging gifts, and all I can seem to think  about  is the fedex guy who gets stuck with the Christmas shift. What a lousy life to want to work then, right? But then I remember that this will have been the first christmas that I haven’t worked in a long time. I usually am that guy.

I think Christmas makes me feel guilty somehow. Guilty for spending it with two wonderful families (each in their own very specific way), and I never feel exactly deserving of it.Where do I get off? I’m mostly selfish, and not really that wonderful of a person the rest of theyear, but somehow I find myself surrounded with love on this great day. And all I can do is be depressed about it.

 

I’m a mess around winter. I need to get drunk.

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on our way home, we realized ourselves.

December 4, 2008 at 7:30 am · Filed under London and tagged: , , , ,

There were a lot of things I planned to do over this past semester. A lot of well laid plans about how I would handle my semester and what kind of adventures I would find myself embroiled in and all the interesting folks I wanted to meet on my travels. And specifically I really wanted to blog about all of it. I wanted to write it all down in an exciting, confessional style entry almost every day- because I was sure that all my adventures would be happening on a daily basis. 

I think I may have blogged about four times this semester, this being my fifth entry over the past four months. Four months. It’s hard to believe that that is how long I’ve found myself in wonderland, but four months it has been, and four months has now come swiftly to an end. I’m getting ready to depart. In five short days, I will be leaving for the US, and leaving behind a life that I only just started getting used to. 

It’s all so dramatic isn’t it?

But no. It’s a hard thing, really. Because everyone always tells you that studying abroad for a semester changes your life. Changes who you are. And in a strange way I guess you could say that it has. But I wasn’t convinced until now. I wasn’t convinced that leaving this place I would find myself some kind of different person. But here I am. Not altogether the same, but still somehow similar to who I was. It all gets very tangled and confusing. 

 

I didn’t write a lot of interesting things down. I regret that.

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