Archive for September, 2008
oviedo.
It all seems a bit odd to me still. Being here, in London. It’s been messing with my head a bit I fear. Even my internal monologue is a bit sketchy over here. It must have been damaged in the flight over, because I just can’t seem to find my voice.
My biggest hope was that I would travel here and that it would somehow inspire me to new heights of artistic brilliance. But so far all this pollution must have seeped into my brain and created some kind of creative tumor there. Even that last bit seemed a bit forced, didn’t it?
I suppose my biggest hope was that I would fall in love. Silly, right? Right. However, it just seems that if I was going to have a first real love, what better city or time to have one? Other than in Paris, during a period of my life when I wouldn’t be leaving in three month’s time. But if it were all to happen here, I wouldn’t disregard it because, honestly, it’s not like my success rate back in the states has been all that stellarl right? Maybe a bit of distance is what I really need. All I need.
Distance addles the brain I think. Judging from everyone else around here (myself included, read up above kids), all this distance (or maybe it’s the pollutants?) has caused a severe downshift in sanity. I’m thankful for my single room, and I’m thankful for my unbearable contentedness with being alone in the face of a new country. I think for the most part people just feel trapped. The group is their security blanket, but they’re steadily getting a little bit more restless with the same group to cling to. Where do you go in situations like that? I’m slowly garnering a new found understanding of those people in the Real World houses. Living with the same group of people, working and partying together isn’t exactly the best of times. It’s not always the worst either though.
They didn’t have to deal with two and a half years worth of emotional baggage either though. And to be perfectly, frustratingly honest, I think some of us might have exceeded the weight restrictions where that’s concerned.
You know how on the Real World when outsiders are introduced to the main cast of characters, for some strange reason people just don’t mesh well with the housemates. I kind of feel like that. While I pray a little prayer every day to find interesting London folk to take me under their wing and teach me their bizarre, European ways, I also fear that breaking away from the group may somehow be seen as some kind of great transgression against brotherhood, or sisterhood, or circle jerks- or something.
I always read in novels about “palpable tension.” I never understood what that really meant until I lived with hormonal, high maintenance, sensitive theatre majors. It’s a dish best served with lexipro and lots and lots of wine.
Take note, I don’t take myself out of that heath-ledger-inspired-cocktail equation either. We’re all stuck on this crazy ship, and I might as well stick a hat on my head, spit on my neck and call myself skipper.
I can feel the momentum building, and eventually I’ll get back to a place of peace and brilliance. But we can only hope.
where in the world did you find this boy’s head?
In a city as large as London, there shouldn’t be any question in anyone’s mind where you might find someone mildly interesting to talk to. A club, a pub, maybe even a bathhouse (if you’re into that sort of thing). So imagine my surprise today when I discovered that the secret to finding interesting company lay in a soap shop.
You heard me right. A soap shop. “Lush” in Covent Gardens to be exact. Now I didn’t exactly meet any lifelong friends today, or even my soulmate. But I did meet a handful of well dressed pirates come soap merchants.
Such is my life here in London. I wish I had several more interesting stories for you, but as of now the tale of Jay, the soap merchant, is one that isn’t quite complete. Did I immediately upon return home find him on facebook? yes. Am I fully planning on taking his invitation next week of coming back in the store to “buy more soap,” of course. But it has only been a short week and a half here in London town after all, I have to keep my horizons broad, and not put too much stock in a chance meeting at a soap shop. I mean, he had to talk to me for an hour and half, right? He was working there. However, I will give him this. The level of customer service I received today was unlike anything else I have ever experienced in London so far.
It’s strange how this house already has a very distinct, not altogether unpleasant smell. It’s one of those smells that I’m sure if I ever gleam the faintest wiff of it later on in my life, I’ll always remember it. And think back to Kilburn Park.
I’m starting to just get a tad bit homesick, but I’m praying that it will pass.
