Archive for June, 2008
kick that bucket
I briefly considered composing my own “bucket list” (a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket.” Clever, I know), a testament to how completely and utterly bored I am in Decatur. However I had to stop, because it just became my list of places I want to have sex before I die. Is that even more depressing than the fact that I almost considered making a bucket list? I’m not sure.
The Happening was absolutely horrible in all possible ways. I don’t understand why Mr. Shyamalan continues his stubborn insistence on directing his own scripts. We get it. But honestly dude, you’re a far better director than you are a writer. You can only go so far with dull movies anchored by their “shocking” endings. This is a perfect example. Brilliant direction, but piss-poor writing.
I will give him this- I have never been more terrified of trees before in my life. And my lifelong fear of death by industrial lawn mower was horrifically brought to life in one gut wrenching moment. Props on that.
But seriously folks, save your eight bucks.
june is busting out all over.
Pat, my favorite office lady is retiring today. One of the only perks about a dear friend leaving you forever is that you have time to sit at your desk and write a blog about it. Currently Pat, and her office lady cohorts are congregating around a rather large chocolate cake that someone meticulously created, with the words “Some of us will miss you Pat” in pink icing. Those office ladies have a real sense of humor.
But I have a feeling everyone will miss Pat. She takes some getting used to, and she definitely isn’t a “warm” person by any means, but she was undoubtedly my favorite. Pat was the quiet one out the fearsome foursome of fifty year old women that I spent seven hours a day with. While Connie is the leader and the christian, Pat is definitely second in command, getting more done and with a less Jesus-y gusto than Connie.
She sits at her computer every day, handing me files to alphabetize and reports to type, and she always does it with a look of absolute boredom and apathy. Unlike the others who try and fake like this job is somehow difficult and important, Pat is the only one who openly shows her disdain for just about everything. When I say that not everyone has adorable children, Mary (the cheerful, spacey one of the group) argues that everyone is beautiful in their own way. What does Pat do? Shoots the bitch down. She, like so many others realize that there are just some plain ugly ass kids. And thank God for her.
When I found out she was retiring recently, I lamented that we never had enough time to become “BFF’s.” I thought Pat would ignore this comment as she often does (I tend to talk to Pat a lot, because I know Pat won’t talk back). But instead she patted me on the shoulder and said with a sigh “I’m sure you’ll find a way to make sure we’ll be BFFing forever.” I’m still not sure Pat knows what a BFF is, and what that could mean about her response, but I like to think that Pat envisions a lively future, of me visiting her without warning, and her grudgingly accepting my presence in her life.
In a few hours I’ll likely never see Pat again. I’m not sure how important she was in the grand scheme of my life, but I’m confident she warrants at least a chapter in my eventual biography, which will be scathing, I’m sure.
At least I still have Myra. The feisty black one of the group. She’s fierce.
