I just brought home the third season of Weeds from work, and with it I have rekindled my undying obsession for Mary Louise Parker. Hmmm. What a delicious blend of talent and quirkiness. Let’s recap my journey with M-lou, shall we?

As a young lad of probably 6 or 7, I can remember being starstruck by Parker in a little film I liked to call “Tomato tomato,” which is of course the film that normal people referred to as Fried Green Tomatoes. What seven year old boy can’t recall plopping down in front of the television to watch Kathy Bates roll herself in saran wrap to entice her husband? Or Mary Louise engaging in some heavy cannibalism, and lest we should forget: Chris O’Donnel’s tragic end on the railroad tracks (I literally wouldn’t go near railroad tracks until my teen years because of this movie). A cautionary tale for all ages.

It was then that I told my mom that I had a crush on “that lady.” Not Kathy Bates rolled in saran wrap, but Mary Louise. This, I would later come to find out, was my first “gay crush.” Those stirrings gay men have toward women of substance and talent. Hmmm. Sorry mom, I wasn’t admiring her ta-ta’s, but her cinematic presence.

I took a break from Mary Louise for a while to focus more on God. It wasn’t until I was in highschool that I witnessed the brilliance that was Boys on the Side. Hello? AIDS? Lesbians? How could a young, closeted guy not find THAT fascinating? I believe this was in my “I’m secretly watching lifetime movies” phase. Oops. Mary was great, yadda yadda. But this started my other obsession: Whoopi, you’re really not a lesbian? Really? Come on. But I digress.

I admit, after doing a bit of research a couple of years ago (read: IMDB) I realized that my Mary Louise vocabulary was sadly lacking. At that point I checked out movies such as The Client (RIP Brad Renfro), Pipedream and Bullets Over Broadway among others. It’s one of the great tragedies of film that she lost out to Gwenyth Paltrow to reprise her role in Proof. Too old? Fuck that. Not enough star power? Redic.

I guess you could say I wasn’t completely aware that I was obsessed until I saw Angels In America my senior year. I guess you could also say I didn’t know what fucking mindblowing was either until I saw that movie. Before then she lauded giggles and a post-it in the back of my brain with movies like Saved!, but it was then, seeing her desperate and naked on a rooftop, pleading with her mormon husband to fuck’er that I can remember my path down fanboy lane truly began. It’s not often that the sight of a vagina can stir that much emotion in me, but damnit all, Mary Louise has got fire!

Does anyone remember this? :

It’s ok, not many people do. It’s Zac Efron playing autistic track star, Steven Thomas in Lifetime’s Miracle Run (a true “lifetime original”). Notable for it’s awkwardness yes, but also for- you guessed it! Mary Louise as his mother. I’m not gonna lie. I watched this movie, and wondered aloud in my basement “Why is Mary Louise Parker in this movie?” We all have our professional missteps. Forgive and forget I always say. But somehow I don’t think I can ever forget that.

Mary Louise was originally offered Teri Hatcher’s role on Desperate Housewives back when it was in pre-production, and as much as that would undoubtedly been genius, I’m glad she turned it down (although she turned it down because she didn’t think the show would do well. tut-tut MLP, tut-tut. Who you getting your advice from?) because she would later go on to star in the hit Showtime original series Weeds, which has quickly become my absolute favorite show on television. Next to Gilmore Girls (more on this later). Interestingly enough, the show also stars one of my other favorites from Angels, Justin Kirk (more on him later). Weeds is great. Even MKO (Mary Kate Olsen) can’t taint the fun.

Such has been my journey with Mary Louise Parker. And what a journey it’s been. I can only hope that her body of work continues to grow in such a way that will force me to continually question my own sexuality in the face of her beauty and talent. Here’s to you Mary Louise, here’s to you.

Here are some examples of her brilliance. Youtube, go!

The stuff at the beginning is only mildly useless. just wait for it…

While not all about Mary Louise, this is one of the many examples of why I love her. Just keep watching. It’s worth it. Or maybe it’s not. But either way, I fear Cher after watching this.

There are no words. Just… Fantastic.

There are a saddening amount of quality MLP videos on the internet right now. If anyone can find me her golden globes speech… I’ll give you a crisp two dollar bill.